Why is being a perfectly imperfect mum so important to me and my 3 biggest tips to achieve it!

I say enough with the beautiful Instagram filters and smiles at all times! Keep it real!

Mums, drop what you are doing (except reading this of course!), grab a cuppa, sit down and BREATH while you are reading this post. I have written it with my heart and a profound message to you. I want to scream out loud LET-GO-OF-TRYING-TO-BE-PERFECT! But hold on…

Shall we start with some mum truth here?

  • Motherhood is beautiful but certainly not perfect nor easy.
  • Every single mum loses her sweet temper (to put it nicely) at times.
  • I love to have a house full of kids laughter but I am not super keen on sleepovers or birthday parties, too much craziness. Spending time with my kids and playing with them I adore but I find playgrounds boring most of the time. I hate the constant arguments with my kids but I love our long talks about just anything and everything. And I could continue for hours. It’s ok to not enjoy every little bit, don’t feel guilty about it. It’s ok to admit the truth, it’s not perfect but it’s my world and I love it.
  • Personally, my kids are super messy and my house is chaos most of the time. We have socks laying around, dog and cat hair everywhere, my windows are dirty, my laundry is like a bomb had just exploded and we are not even going to talk about my car, okay? But this is all totally irrelevant.
  • Truth is… the important thing is that I am raising 3 happy and thriving kids. They are not the smartest, and not the funniest, nor the most talented. Neither I am, so why should they be? But they are happy, they have goals in life and the right mindset to reach them. They have passions and opinions.  They are perfect for me, they are love! And we are in this chaos together as a family and we learn from each other. We have each other’s back. And this is gold. We are enough and we complement each other. Life is imperfect and that’s just perfect for me!

And what is a perfectly imperfect mum anyways?

For me a perfectly imperfect mum is this amazing and strong woman who can:

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  • live her true self without caring about other’s opinions
  • live her life purpose and doing what she loves without falling into the trap of following society’s expectations
  • accept her mistakes and grow from it
  • laugh and cry at herself, share raw emotions
  • step out of her house without make-up and with a messy bun, with this “I don’t care” vibe
  • simply be happy about her purposeful imperfect life – her intentional life!

Why should you thrive at being this imperfect mum?

First of all, trying to be perfect is bloody exhausting and complicated, let’s not forget to mention impossible, as perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is as well totally illusional!

“You were born to be real, not perfect”

Let’s face it, there is already so much pressure around our kids, why would we, as their role model, want to add even more by faking to be perfect? Isn’t that sending them the message to do the same? That they can’t be real, they have to “pretend to be perfect”? Honestly, you and I know parenthood is not a walk in the park. It’s a roller coaster of emotions with big ups and big lows. Some days are, are…. is there actually a word for it? We mums don’t have our Sh@# together at all times and our kids know it. So why would we want to make our kids believe that they have to fake their happiness vis a vis to others? Don’t you think social media is already taking care of this, with all those #instaperfect pictures and fake perfect lives out there? What message is the quest to perfection sending them?

Not the one I want to send my kids! I feel it would be cheating. I’d rather let them see me vulnerable, let them see me be a real person who lives a real life.

I want my kids to know that I am not perfect, not at home and not outside of the home!

They need to understand that a real mum most probably has a squishy tummy, doesn’t wake up with make-up, sometimes doesn’t feel like doing her hair and certainly isn’t always balancing motherhood, work, home duties, marriage, health and life with 100% success rate! And that is ok! So drop the pressure and the guilt. And show them how to rock an imperfect life!

You also show them that you love them enough to trust them with your truth

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Take the pressure off you! Forget about #Instaperfect!

Illusion or fantasy? #Instaperfect does not exist in the real world, our world. So buckle up and drop that guilt and pressure! Don’t compare yourself to a fantasy! Stop pretending and faking or chasing perfection. Simply accept that your lunch boxes are not as amazing as those you are seeing on Instagram and that’s ok! Your morning routine is a total hot mess express, that’s ok too. You can barely hold a conversation because you had only 2 hours sleep in between baby’s feeds? That’s ok! Your teenager just chuck a tantrum because you told them to clean their room? Well, again that’s ok, no need to pretend your teenager is perfect.

You, your kids, your life are all perfectly imperfect! Embrace it!

Tip 1: Forget the comparison game

Stop comparing your life to others. The pressure of “what will people think” is now even bigger with social media being so present nowadays. The comparison game is on, unfortunately! Don’t fall for it!

Remember, you can’t compare your imperfect book to someone else perfect paragraph (the only one they want to show you by the way). Honestly, just be the best you in your life and voila!

a little bit of help:

  • Make sure to start your day every morning with a clear plan for your day. What you want to achieve today and how. Do not overfill your list as it would only turn into frustration if you can’t quite get everything done.
  • At night, make sure to acknowledge your day, what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Thank yourself.
  • If you can’t stop the comparison game, then frame a picture of yourself, the woman who desperately seeks perfection. Keep that picture close so that you can use it at night to tell her everything you have done and how proud you are of her. As you are growing, compare yourself now to her then! Make sure to remember how she felt and how you are feeling now and compare those feelings!
  • And if you want to mix up with other imperfect mums in the making, this online village is a safe and wonderful place to share and grow together, The Imperfect Mum Forum

Tip 2: Everything in moderation, don’t go overboard!

Whatever your lifestyle choices are, remember that you should choose them out of conviction, not out of pressure. Also even tho you have made a choice, don’t go overboard!

Personally, I endeavour to live a healthy and clean lifestyle, it is extremely important to me and I talk about it all the time. Because I know how much it has changed my life, my family’s life and it has become a real passion as well. But, it certainly doesn’t mean it is perfect 100% of the time. NO! As it is NOT!

If you make a lifestyle choice, stick with it. But don’t become too obsessed either. Obsessions tents to have a negative impact anyways. Keep it real. Play the game as good as you can, knowing that there will be exceptions and struggles.

For example, we eat mostly vegan and clean organic nutritious food, knowing that this is what’s best for us. But hey, don’t think we eat that 100% of the time. We go out and have pizzas every now and then or grab a pack of hot chips for a quick Saturday lunch. Sometimes we have chocolate, Swiss milk chocolate. And everything is still ok.

It would be so tiring and stressful to try to be following our nutrition convictions perfectly at all times!

a little bit of help:

  • Make it a habit, not a rule!
  • Don’t forget to enjoy your choice. If you are too strict, chances are it will turn in a real chore.
  • Have fun with your choices. Forget about being boring, explore, imagine how to make it fun for the entire family
  • Enjoy exceptions! Like we love having a pizzas night out or our Swiss chocolate.

Comment below what’s important for you in life, what’s your passion?

Tip 3: Happiness is the key

I feel like the chase for perfection is sometimes such a big deal because of a lack of fulfilment in life. I truly believe, it is easier to be happy and fulfilled in a life that does correspond to you. If you are living in YOUR world and not in someone else’s expectations, life will seem to make more sense. And as you are building it to suit you, keep it REAL and forget about perfection. Make it your Imperfectly Perfect World.

Struggles are here to be lived and to make the good moment taste even better. They are here to make you stronger, embrace them and be proud, they are part of the journey. And if you can lead by example and show your kids how to change hurdles into power, you will inspire them. Doesn’t that sound perfect to you?

A little bit of help:

  • Happiness is the key for you and your kids. If you are not happy trying so hard to be perfect, how do you want your child to grow up happy using the models you have set.
  • Chasing your very best instead of chasing perfection is a relief!

– This basically goes back to my post of last week: How to live a more intentional life and feel happy and fulfilled?

Bonus tip, the most important one: Never ever forget who is watching you!

And I am not talking about Insta followers! But about your kids, you are their role model. Don’t make them believe that it is ok to live a fake life that seems perfect from the outside!

But teach them to live a life they are proud of, and most importantly, teach them that happiness is a choice.

A perfectly imperfect lifestyle choice!

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And to finish what about you?

What’s perfectly imperfect in YOUR LIFE? Comment below and share with other mums.

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About the Author:
Natascha is firstly a wife and mum of 3, originally Swiss and a French native speaker, she lives in Queensland Australia. She also is a passionate online entrepreneur and author.
Natascha’s passion is to share the message of Living a Life of Purpose.
Her mission is to help other mums create more freedom to live their dream life while becoming healthier and happier!

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9 replies
  1. Gabe
    Gabe says:

    I love this! We can’t compare other’s best to our worst. We never see someone’s whole picture. But I love how you talk about make your lifestyle choice but don’t be rigid. Healthy living can’t just be a set of rules to follow, it needs to be a lifestyle, and an enjoyable one. I think I make the mistake of trying to be perfect for everyone else, which takes time away from me being present for my kids. I’m working hard to change that because they are my first ministry, and I want to be their #1 role model.

    Reply
    • Yan and Nat Carrel
      Yan and Nat Carrel says:

      Yes totally, being too rigid just doesn’t work. It’s stressful and frustrating. You simply can’t be perfect for everyone else, I had to learn it as well. I totally get what you mean, same here.

      Reply
  2. Marta - Imperfect Life Balance
    Marta - Imperfect Life Balance says:

    I absolutely agree with everything you’re saying!!! And I love how you reminded us that trying to chase that perfections (which does not exist) sends the wrong message to our kids. That is such an important perspective to keep in mind.

    Reply
    • Yan and Nat Carrel
      Yan and Nat Carrel says:

      Thank you Marta!
      I find it even more important in a world where everything is measured, compared, assessed, and amplified through social media. We parents need to take this pressure of perfection of their shoulders.

      Reply
  3. Loren
    Loren says:

    Great article, so honest and so many good tips. I love how you stated “make it a habit not a rule”. I see many mothers trying to be perfect and following the crowd, raising super competitive kids or over protected kids. This is a difficult world.

    Reply
    • Yan and Nat Carrel
      Yan and Nat Carrel says:

      Exactly! And they all mean well but don’t realize how much pressure those kids are dealing with.
      It is indeed a difficult world.
      Thank you very much Loren

      Reply

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